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"Today in class the teacher asked the question, ‘Is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all?’ I said, ‘to have loved and lost’ and you said, ‘to have never loved at all.’ I looked at you and you looked at me, and thats when I knew you never loved me at all.

#25 in my “School Series” this was written at least a year ago while I was going through bad things in school (248/365)

this just tore my heart out

(Source: lettersto-savemyself)

im so sad.
i screwed up so badly.
i still really fucking love him and he hates me.
oh fuck
what the fuck is wrong with me
i am so fucking miserable like this
i am just terribly unhappy
i don’t know what to do anymore, besides quietly exist and cry when no one is looking
oh fuck oh fuck
it’s been 7 months and im still in love
despite all the hurtful shit he’s said or done,
despite the fucking girlfriend
oh fucking hell
it’s been 7 fucking months and I still really fucking love him
he’s broken my heart so many times and I’d still give it to him
I’m weak
I’m weak
I love him too much
I am so awfully sorry about every damn thing
oh how could I have been so cruel
so ugly
so mean
oh my god what did I do.
oh I still love you oh I still fucking do.
I love him and I love you too.
I’m having a Daisy Buchanan moment.
except she wasn’t a huge raging cunt and gatsby still loved her
oh you hate me
oh my love
you hate me
and I feel it every fucking day
you hate me
you hate me
you hate me
I love you
I am sorry beyond proper words.
there is nothing I can do
but quietly exist
I’m obsessed
I’m confused
I’m sick
mentally and physical
the doctors don’t know what’s wrong
so they pump me full of drugs until I can’t feel anything but my sadness
oh fuck it’s consumed my mind, love.
oh fuck my eyes find the sharpest object in every room.
oh fuck my mind is always fashioning things into nooses
oh fuck my mind is always calculating how much of what will make an eternal slumber.
oh baby I’m dying
my life has drained from me
oh fuck it’s gotten the best of me
oh fuck oh fuck it’s getting near
you’re the purest love I’ve ever known
come back
come back
come back
I love you
come back
come back
come back
come back
come back
come back
oh love come back before I go.
I know you won’t.
it’s getting near.
I’m not scared anymore.
don’t you scream when you realize this is written in my blood; T.K (via thefreshprinceofbel-air)
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